Lets talk interracial dating…

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Besides High Waisted Shorts, there is something else that has taken over our generation and its called interracial dating. It’s not a trend nor a thought, it’s not a process nor a habit. It is a Change. Having been in several interracial relationships myself the difference when you view someone is not their color but shared interests and common perspectives. Our generation by far is very open-minded and tolerant than those of other generations. Growing up our generation grew up with diversity, I kissed my first girl of a different race when I was  7 years old in Daycare. Unlike our parents and church mothers our generation grew up “Multicultural” and that makes for a part of what we are today. “Our generation is more comfortable being with anyone, this is what MLK dreamed” says my boy Daquan Joyner.

A 2010 Pew Research study found that interracial marriages in the US reached a record of 4.8 million and even today that number is still climbing and breaking records. That says today in 2014 interracial dating had to increase by a vast 50% or more.  As a black man I have seen and had many things thrown while dating outside my race and not one time have I thought twice about giving up. I’ve been on both ends, dating my own race and dating outside my race. You will find that some people have their opinion on this, but at the end of the day be with someone that makes you stronger, better, caters to your needs and has a strong will. Embrace one another, embrace change, and embrace differences. In Cancun I met a guy that has been with his wife of a different race for over 20 years. I asked him what keeps you two together to this day, he said communication, ” When you communicate with each other, nothing will come between you because your minds and hearts are open to each other and thats all that matters.”

 

Until next time, take care of yourself and each other,

-Trell

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Time….to settle down

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Growing up I used to tell myself that I would never get married. I used to make bets with my friends as to who would get married first, and of course everyone would push it off. I used to say the only way I would get married is if Jennifer Lopez showed up at my door one night ( I still leave the door open for her every night). The bible says in Proverbs 18: 22 ” He who finds a wife finds a good thing and obtains favor from the Lord.” This is true because well it’s Wedding Season and although i’ll be attending quite a few this year some of my friends that are getting hitched were the last ones I expected too. Heres the thing, Weddings are great, besides the free food and free booze it’s a time of celebration, it’s a time of rejoicing, and it’s a time to be happy for two people embarking on a lifelong journey together.

Now..

You meet a girl but when do you know she’s the right one? You met a guy, when does he meet the parents?

These are the “Down the Road” questions to the moment when you think that person is the One. Ladies and Gents when is it time to settle down? When is it time to stop hooking up with Julie downstairs and when is it time to stop blowing Josh at the Tattoo Parlor……The Answer? When you find yourself constantly thinking about your significant other and when your dreams are finally a reality. Settling down is in no way easy, you deal with people doubting you and your relationship, but you do have some that are supportive. You deal with each others past and most importantly the “Worry.” Sometimes you may think what if this and what if that, but you can’t. Readers I will tell you everything happens for a reason and sometimes we may never know why; but I tell you embrace it, if its time and you feel your ready to settle down do it because we only have one soulmate. Love and Lust are two different things and you have to differentiate the two before you decide on settling down with that person. Lastly let me say this, You will worry and you will lose your mind at times and sometimes you will look at the past, but in order for you to be with your significant other and focus on the life ahead you can’t think back and you can’t worry as much. Focus on the present, Have Hardcore sex and be happy together. If she or he completes you and after every obstacle you’ve ever encountered led you back to them, dont let them go.

Until next time, Take Care of yourself and Each other,

-Trell Continue reading Time….to settle down

14 Things Your Black Friend Wants You To Know

So True!!

Thought Catalog

Happy Endings: Seasons 1 & 2Happy Endings: Seasons 1 & 2

1. There’s no such thing as being the “whitest black guy/girl.”

As a black dude who enjoys cardigans, fights the urge to express my love for Lana Del Rey on social media every day, drinks a lot of Starbucks (Goldcard Member, woot woot!), occasionally says “woot woot!” regrets saying “woot woot!” and thoroughly enjoys Whole Foods Market, I’m often told how “white” I am, which is preposterous. Is overpaying for $8 soy nuts a white thing to do? Maybe that’s a bad example. Does a closet full of cardigans and a love for hazelnut fraps make me not black? Of course not. The worst thing about this point? 9 times out of 10 it’s other black people who make the remark, which is disturbing because why enforce bogus stereotypes or make life harder on each other?

2. There’s no such thing as cornrolls.

Cornrows, however, are a…

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Letting Go of the Past

Love is Strong, Love is blind, And Love is what you make it. When you find Love in someone you are taking on everything about them, everything they carry and more importantly their past. We all have a past and in that past we all carry things that we aren’t proud of whether it was a relationship gone bad, RELATIONS that we regret or basically something that made us not think at the time. I’m going to be honest to everyone right now. I’ve dealt with this situation personally and the hardest part was being rejected for a relation that to me made no-sense. At first I was angry, upset and over and over in my head was the question of How? Why? seriously? And a few other things I’m going to keep off this blog. After talking to one of my close friends I realized a lot and I want to share these thoughts with you. Everyone has their Ups and Downs whether it’s through the span of years or whatever the case. But again we all have our ups and downs and the question you have to ask yourself is can you live without your significant other. Being with someone and constantly bringing up their past will push them away. You have to say to yourself if they wanted them they would be with them, but they’re with you now so it’s obvious that’s where their heart and mind are. Now we’ve all had relations that we aren’t proud of and sometimes when they happen, they happen because we are looking around for the wrong things. Girls and Guys are both guilty of this. Some guys will tell girls whatever they want to hear to keep the girl where they want them. You can’t hold some girls accountable for believing someone and being Goodhearted. She may have been trying to see the good in someone but obviously she realized now that she was wrong especially if she’s with you now. As I grew older and started maturing I learned that youth requires some people time to grow. A buddy of mine made a good statement, he said Everything you ever wanted is on the other side of fear. Getting over someone past isn’t going to be easy but it’s a process and requirement in order to love that significant other unconditionally. God doesn’t make mistakes, keep your mind clear and Don’t let the past control your future. In closing Trust The Lord with all your heart and lean not to your own understanding. In order for you to move forward, be happy and look past the past; you’ve got to ask God to intervene, you both do. Stay Prayed up Peeps, I am.

Until next time, take care of yourself and each other..

– Trell

The Word that begins with “I”

Webster dictionary defines insecurity as: not confident about yourself or your ability to do things well: nervous and uncomfortable. One of my friends defines insecurity as: A flawed and jealous person that needs to get out their feelings. What makes an individual insecure? What makes a person worry? What makes a person jealous and angry? So many questions that all point back to that one word, Insecurity.

An insecure person is usually controlling in a relationship, they get jealous and question the littlest things a person may do and believe it or not they weren’t born that way. Insecurity usually is triggered within a person who may have been hurt in the past and its sometimes people that feel they aren’t worthy of being with the person they currently have; and even sometimes its because they are guilty of other things they are doing. At onetime or another we have all been guilty of being insecure whether it was for a brief moment or currently. Jay-Z once said “Jealousy is a weak emotion” and thats true but sometimes because of a persons past they are never the same again, even if it’s going into a new relationship.

Heres a few suggestions for my insecure people:

1.Stop confusing imagination and reality ( Making stuff up and believing it is a sure way to Self-torment)

2. Give the relationship room to breathe ( When you plant a seed to grow, you give it time to develop, Give your relationship air and time to develop.)Image

3.Quit mind reading ( Quit worrying what your partner is thinking, thats a quick way to anxiety people.

4. Comparing ( Quit comparing current relationships to past relationships)

5.Focus on the Good ( Self explanatory)

If you follow these steps and add God above all, You’ll be fine but if you stay insecure your relationship just may walk out the door.

 

Until next time, take care of yourself and each other.

-Trell

 

 

6 Irritating Things Insecure People Do

She hit it right on the spot

Thought Catalog


1. One-Up

“Oh! You speak Spanish? That’s cute. I also speak Spanish, Italian and French. (Insert smirk). You taught Spanish in high school? I actually started my own company when I was an infant, teaching 3 languages. I funded it myself!”

We get it. You have a burning desire make yourself feel superior because you feel violently inferior.  You cannot handle the success of others. You are insecure. There’s a big gaping difference in sharing stories with a friend because you’ve had similar experiences, but to undermine someone’s success or statement with your own is not only embarrassing, it’s extremely annoying and fictitious.

2. Take Offense

A wise teacher once said, “It is a fool who takes offense when it is intended, but it is an even greater fool who takes offense when it is not intended.”
Self interest is a common theme in the world today, it may even be the…

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What NOT to do on a first Date.

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Wow its been too long since I blogged which Isn’t like me, but  I’m back and tonight I bring you the Dont’s of a first Date. We’ve all been on first dates and we all know how to act and we all know sometimes what we expect from our date unless of course they’re a complete stranger. I’ve had a shit ton of first Dates and by far there has always been something that went wrong, usually for some reason the girl I’ve met out and about turned out to be the girl.

1. DONT talk about your exes.

I think this one is self explanatory, No one wants to hear about them, even if they…never-mind. NEXT.

2. Don’t talk about yourself.

A first Date is about getting to know the other person, Getting to know each other, NOT Brag about that New BMW you just got or how many pairs of Jordan’s you own.

3. The 3 Words I Love You

Besides asking a girl to be your girlfriend on the first Date or girls wanting a guy to be their man right away, saying I Love you will get you know where but the club looking for a freshman.

4. Don’t plan the next date after the first

Ride with it, take the first Date as is, If a second date is meant to happen it will happen; but let the first one ride first. You never want to come off too pushy, never.

5. Don’t be sloppy

This ties into Drinking, being aggressive or any of the above. Slurring words, stumbling, none of which is acceptable. This is a big No No.

6. Burp, Fart, Belch, eat with your mouth open, chew gum, spit, or pick your nose.

Smh. Any person that does any of these are out of their mind. If you want a second Date or a Good night…Do these before hand.

7. Pay Attention.

I have a friend ” YAMMERS” who told me recently he always gets caught watching ESPN on Dates especially if he’s sitting close to a TV.  Cell phones or any distractions, close them out and focus on whats in front of you…Your Date.

8. Rant

Don’t moan, rant, talk about your problems. You’re on a Date and no one wants to hear about your Baby Mama Drama or your crazy ex who brags constantly to your friends about their new man…just saying.

9. Cancel

NEVER cancel plans at the last minute, House fire, Death are acceptable things but Diarrhea is not, put on a diaper and man up or woman up Lol.

10. Good hygiene

Cleanliness, not to much perfume or cologne, clean clothes and clean shoes. Clothes don’t make the person but for this night it does.

These are just a few of my Dont’s on a first Date, I could go on forever but for right now Im stopping here.

Until next time take care of yourself and each other.

-Trell