Hook and Sink ( Friends that Hook-up)

Ive been working on this post for a while. Ive interviewed a professor, some friends of both sexes and the things I’m about to share with you about hooking up with a friend will amaze you. Sometimes things happen, Your single, they’re single and with intentions with the right moment, it just happens.

I talked to a good friend of mine over lunch the other day to pick his brain knowing he’s been in this situation. Chris was telling me hooking up with a single female friend when you are single can be an ongoing thing. When he was in college he had a female friend and they were great around each other. At one point they both were in relationships but their significant others understood the friendship and it was just that…Afterwards was whole different story. Chris went back to tell a story where he said they both were in ” Slumps” and  somehow it came up in a conversation and it became a regular thing until-She caught feelings. Unfortunately things became so awkward they eventually avoided each other for life.

Now Sarah, one of my good female friends ( No we never hooked up) told me about one of her friends and the level it went too. Sarah was friends with a guy she met while interning for a few years after college. She said one day it just happened and they both explained it wouldn’t go past the sex. Shortly after a few times Sarah noticed the jealousy phase when she would go out with other guys or guys would inquire to him about her. She saw the Red flags but kept blowing it off. Sarah is now married and her and the guy are still friends. If you’re wondering, Her husband knows.

To me and honestly having been around people in the situation the outcomes are pretty much the same. The friend gets attached or strung and eventually want more. Can you really just hook up with a friend-No! Unless you’re willing to lose that friendship and want a lifetime of awkwardness then go for it. Todd said ” If the two are single, If the curiosity is there, go for it. But the two people involved just have to be mature enough to handle what comes after. Be it Good or bad.” Could you categorize a friend as a friend with benefits? I guess if it becomes a regular thing, but what kind of person does that make you in the eyes of others? Fast, No Standards? So many ways to take  this topic which makes it tricky. A Michigan State study found that 10 percent of Friends with benefits arrangements ends in real romantic relationships. But thats not all-26 percent of Friends with benefits actually ended in a wrecked relationship, So 74 percent of Friends with Benefits relationships DONT destroy the friendship. Most people that enter the Friends with benefits or hook up with a friend dont want a relationship but have sexual needs. So they figure by sleeping or hooking up with a friend its safer than hooking up with a stranger.

Ultimately, if  you hook up with a friend or become Friends with Benefits its doomed for a downfall. One of you two will want more or will at some point so if thats the case just make it clear. Now if you’re one that doesn’t want things to upgrade and the other doesn’t as well, then you may have something…for now.

 

Until next time, Don’t bang your friends…

– Trell

Why she chooses the Ass-Hole and why he chooses the Crazy Chick

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Have you ever been chased in a car at 3am coming from an outing with your friends by a girlfriend? Or have you ever had a boyfriend use you and use you but you still love him? I have been in the first situation and I know many people who have been in smiler situations- and it all goes back to what the Hell we were thinking. Ive learned that most people look for short-term partners, whether its sexual or a companionship which leads to a sexual companionship. At this point when determining the short term relationship you look and prefer someone sexy and attractive that you really dont know how they will turn out to be. Ive talked to a few girls because this is a very touchy topic and I was curious to what some were thinking when “picking” the guy. “He had the looks, confidence, not your average looking guy and he was sexy as F***. I noticed once he got comfortable around me he asked me for favors, and favors and eventually I fell for it every single time” says Amber. Is it the Hormones of some females, is it really that most girls prefer the badass guy over the average joe or is it just the true phrase Nice guys dont stand a chance? Questions within the mind. Most studies point to the hormones, while most people say its low brain cells but either way it’s a hit and a miss. Most females like a thrill and while the badass guy will give you that and be the life of the party, can he settle down and start a family? Be the man of the house, work and provide. It will always be a mystery as to why the ” Wonderful” Woman can be into such a ” Horrible guy”. A Study says a female will allow a relationship to continue with a guy that is emotionally, mentally, or even physically abusive to her if it’s filling a need that one (or many) of her immature traits feed on. Now let me say this before moving on, Women who don’t have their act together, have major emotional or esteem issues, or are immature and/or inexperienced — are the ones most likely unable to differentiate between the traits of an asshole and a good guy. Now, women who are more mature and experienced, with high-self esteem, and feminine confidence, can spot his childish behavior miles away and won’t usually tolerate it. There I said it * Wipes forehead*

 

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In the beginning I mentioned being chased at 3am in a car with no lights on by an ex-girlfriend, true story. A Crazy female can actually be spotted fellas-it’s not that hard, you just have to look past the Vagina. If you hear a woman complain that she can only spot losers and jerks, that all the guys she’s been with have played her, that she hates drama, men are Dicks or any other negative bitter view of relationships and men — stay away — no, run for the Wall in the North. You’re not going to change her opinion by being the “Guy,” trying to show her “how good guys really are” and how “different and will treat her better”. This is no different from the woman trying to save a broken, damaged man as well ( The Asshole).  As guys you see a girl who has been damaged, She’s attractive but she’s been hurt so therefore she’s not trying to give the next guy a chance. You finally break through, She lets you in and then what? Then the  Thin line between love and hate comes out. Every move you make brings about questions, She doesn’t trust you and she thinks you’re just like Gerald. Now dont get me wrong, you aren’t but she doesn’t believe that. Run, again Run. Females love easily and deeply and as a guy they expect us to be just as genuine as they are.

Don’t ever let other’s fears dictate your happiness 

So in closing Why do women continue to date the asshole? 

The answer, I asked a good friend of mine and she said simply ” They Ask”

Some good guys are quiet, laid-back and scared to ask a woman out or even for a her number. The Asshole without any skill is very aggressive, and just goes for it. He makes his presence and intentions known without any hesitations.

Now as for the Crazy Girls 

No answer-Just Run, think with your head not your other head.

Until next time, take care of yourself and each other,

-Trell

 

10 Things Guys like on Girls…

 

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Every Guy has their preference on what they like in a girl or their significant other. But what happens when you ask a guy the question  What are some things they like on a girl. I took the question and ran the streets of…Ok I didn’t go anywhere but I took a survey of some of my close friends, random guys at the gym and the Pizza guy Keefer, Thanks for the pie. The Results I got back were incredible, Brace yourselves.

 

10.  Nothing 

Sometimes Bare is better, although if you’re in public you should be careful.

 

9. Jersey of his favorite team or his favorite shirt 

Simple, Come out with his Kobe jersey on or whatever sport he watches and the jersey just may be off before Tip-off.

 

8. Lingerie 

Who doesn’t like or love it, especially when it compliments her figure. * Bites Finger*

 

7. Hair-up/Pony Tails 

This one was a surprise to me. I was really shocked at how many guys found this to be attractive, although the Pony tails would give…next.

 

6. Just the right amount of makeup

I dated a girl in High School who wore tons and tons of makeup. She Drew her eyebrows, eyes, nose, drew it all in. I never understood it. When a girl has not too much, but just the right amount of make up its cute and attractive. Some girls look like straight clowns.

 

5. Sundress 

Shows the figure but in a respectable way. Classy not trashy is the saying…right?

 

4. Reading Glasses

The is one of my personal favorites. She takes her contacts out, and throws the reading glasses on. Its Saturday and therefore you get a whole day of the glasses. According to a lot of guys its a turn on. So keep living those fantasies Fellas.

 

3. Mens Button Down 

This is another one of my favorites, Nothing like seeing the misses in one of your button down dress shirts……Let that sink in.

 

2. Boy Shorts

Although some guys still live in the Thong Song World, Boy shorts has taken over. I think it’s the way the shorts compliment the figure..I think I used that line earlier but it’s the truth, more girls are rolling with the Cheeks, I mean boy shorts.

 

1.  Yoga Pants 

The Holy Grail of clothing and mans favorite go to item when she says she has nothing to wear. The sad truth is that even girls that dont have a figure can get away with yoga pants..Now think of the girls that do have one. You’re Welcome.

 

Happy Fathers Day Lol

 

Until next time,

Take care of yourself and each other

-Trell

The Word that begins with “I”

Webster dictionary defines insecurity as: not confident about yourself or your ability to do things well: nervous and uncomfortable. One of my friends defines insecurity as: A flawed and jealous person that needs to get out their feelings. What makes an individual insecure? What makes a person worry? What makes a person jealous and angry? So many questions that all point back to that one word, Insecurity.

An insecure person is usually controlling in a relationship, they get jealous and question the littlest things a person may do and believe it or not they weren’t born that way. Insecurity usually is triggered within a person who may have been hurt in the past and its sometimes people that feel they aren’t worthy of being with the person they currently have; and even sometimes its because they are guilty of other things they are doing. At onetime or another we have all been guilty of being insecure whether it was for a brief moment or currently. Jay-Z once said “Jealousy is a weak emotion” and thats true but sometimes because of a persons past they are never the same again, even if it’s going into a new relationship.

Heres a few suggestions for my insecure people:

1.Stop confusing imagination and reality ( Making stuff up and believing it is a sure way to Self-torment)

2. Give the relationship room to breathe ( When you plant a seed to grow, you give it time to develop, Give your relationship air and time to develop.)Image

3.Quit mind reading ( Quit worrying what your partner is thinking, thats a quick way to anxiety people.

4. Comparing ( Quit comparing current relationships to past relationships)

5.Focus on the Good ( Self explanatory)

If you follow these steps and add God above all, You’ll be fine but if you stay insecure your relationship just may walk out the door.

 

Until next time, take care of yourself and each other.

-Trell

 

 

Playing Hard to Get, The Ends and Outs

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Playing hard to get with a guy or girl is sometimes like becoming desirable and often being overlooked.

Most Fellas say it puts them off. So answer this, why do most ladies play hard to get anyway?

Are guys really telling the truth? Does playing hard to get turn them off?

Playing the Game of hard to get

Some Guys may get frustrated when they have to put up with ladies who play hard to get, but we do too. Would anyone accept that they like it when the opposite sex play hard to get.

Well, at least most men would.

How to play hard to get with the opposite

We’ve seen it happen numerous times, in different movies, amongst friends and in several other places full of crazy dating activities.

Women love playing hard to get, and they usually play hard to get even if they like the guy.

This is pretty much the “pre-courting” of the courting days in our Era.

The attraction of playing the Game of hard to get

When most of my boys were asked, they admitted that they love it when girls play hard to get……To a certain extent.

Why do they like it? And how to learn to play hard to get, and make it work in your advantage?

First and foremost, you should know that playing hard to get gives guys something to fight for. After all, we have the most competitive and egotistic craniums in the world.

And don’t we all know how much guys love a good challenge. When a man wants to yam a girl and sweep her off her feet, he’s doing this before any other charming man could sweep this lady away, amidst tough competition.

Along with the happy feeling of wooing this girl, a guy also gets an ego boost. It was him that she chose after all that playing hard to get, and not anyone else, so what does this make him in her eyes, an alpha male of sorts. He is the “almost-perfect-definition” of the manly specie in her eye balls.

Merry Christmas and as always take care of yourself and each other

-Trell

Obstacles

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Opportunities awaits us at all cylinders, We go through obstacles only to make us better sometimes. What defines us is what makes us, When we go through something we should use that to our advantage and grow. Relationships for instance is probably one of the biggest life lessons, you live to learn to conquer. We all at some point have learned a thing or two from either guiding us to do better or showing us what not to do in the next. Everything happens for a reason whether good or bad but its just going through it that sucks. Learn to accept things as they come and progress will lead to a success in whatever it is you’re striving in. Take the Good with the bad to smile for the next.

As always take care of each other and yourself

-Trell

Men lie More, but Women lie better

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This at all is not a biased Blog, courtesy of my Boy Justin Andrews but men seem to get caught more then women when it comes to lies  and fibbers and trust me I have been there. Women lie more frequently than men, and they’re much more clever about it and talented at it. I also believe Women are much more prone to telling “little white lies” to try to keep from hurting someone’s feelings. Surveys say that The average man tells 3 lies a day — or a whopping 1,092 a year, whereas women in comparison fib just twice a day or 728 times a year.

Sometimes females only fib a bit to protect her own feelings or even yours. Sometimes her motives are less inclusive, like lying to cover her tracks. Whatever the case, certain lies occur much more frequently than others. Its up to you to learn the  lies all women tell, and how to handle them in any situation. No matter the type of lie of  either a female or male tells it, psychologists say that lying stresses out the deceiver physically or psychologically. Trained men and women can probably spot the signs of tension in someone telling an outright lie. Everyone has their opinions but truth be told Men tend to get caught more then women do, either it can be a small one or a big one.

Everyone has their opinion on this and therefore everyone can make their own assumptions.

As always take care of yourself and each other.

-Trell