The Art of Conversation

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What happened to a genuine conversation? What happened to game being spit instead of jumping straight into intentions? What happened to” Hows your day” instead of “What are you doing?”  So many questions so little time but just know conversation has taken a fall. 

Often times you encounter individuals ( such as myself) who has the knack for conversation. They can talk to any and everybody, even a stranger on the street. They can make a person feel at ease and walk away from the conversation making the person feel like they’ve known them for years. The art of conversation is a skill that all can have and become competent. Conversation is a flow, whether its in a text or face to face. For example, Some hate when people send a straight text of What are you doing especially if it’s the first text. Nothing can be more frustrating besides the no response at all when you know they have their phone-especially if that person has the phone consistently whenever you’re around them. What are you doing says i’m really not interested in conversation, I just want to ask questions, get answers, then the conversation dies down to a mediocre state. Now, lets get to the fun part-At the bar it seems the conversation has died. You meet a girl or guy, the clock is ticking so your game has got to be on point. You eye them, get that 10 sec confirmation then its on…

*Pause* 

This is where conversing has died. More people are intent on closing then actually having the conversation. Now dont get me wrong, you do have some that are “Easy” referring to Courting an individual so the conversation really doesn’t have to take long, just a few lines. Then you have those who are ” Adventurous” also referring to courting an individual,  All about fun and for some into the group thing, so that may take a few more lines than the last. Then you have the girl or guy that if your game, conversation isn’t in tact you dont stand a chance. A friend of mine, known him for years used to ask me what was the requirements for a good conversation and I had to break it down for him like I am for you:  

1. Listen and Respond 

Avoid making it about you, and more about them, getting to know them after all is what its about.

2. Come to an interest

Not all people can find a common interest, but if you do run with it. 

3. Listener 

Simply put, Tailor the conversation to the individual. Don’t talk about ” Sex, Politics or Religion” Know the rules

4. Take your turn

Conversation is a joint project, be patient, dont let a foot-in-mouth occasion happen. You rant about the war but just remembered your best friends brother just came back from Iraq. 

5. Think 

Golden rule, Think before you speak. 

6. Don’t over Share

Speaks for itself, No one wants to know you have a fetish for the tooth fairy. 

 

The most important thing in the Art is being natural. As with most matters of etiquette and being social, once you grab hold of the rules, let it flow. Remember you dont have to be full of charm but when you connect with someone through conversation, nine times out of ten you gained a new friend. One last rule, stay away from the easy individuals-unless it’s your thing.  

 

Until next time 

Take care of yourself and each other

-Trell 

 

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Signs She’s not into you Bro

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Ok, So you’ve been chasing that certain girl for months, weeks and maybe days. She doesn’t call, she flirts with other guys, and you still continue to hope that maybe she’ll come around. How do you know when to finally give up?

When it comes to reading women signals, lets just say the the indicators are very different in many ways. As a man we sometimes give off when we are not interested although we may give signs and false alarms that we are. Im about to give you 7 signs that shows she isn’t into you and ladies if I’m wrong please feel free to tell me. I conclude after this list that any man should be able to quickly determine if they should continue their pursuit or walk away with their manhood.

1. She says she not ready to be in a relationship

Whelp, the classic, Women use this when they feel like they have nowhere to go by someone they are not interested in. Its pure, requires no cooking and leaves no room for an argument. But if a woman says this, what she really means is that she doesn’t want to be in a relationship with you. For whatever reason, she doesn’t see you as relationship material for her, so don’t stay hoping she changes her mind someday. If she does get in a relationship someday, it wont be with you Bro.

2. You Call and text, and/or she doesn’t return your calls or text

Chill: She may be avoiding you homie. And if she isn’t avoiding you, you are not on her mind and she actually forgot. Either way, this pretty much says that she has less interest in you and doesn’t care to actively seek out your company.

Heres a rule: If she doesn’t return your first call or text, call a second time and don’t send a question mark text, as she may be playing hard to get. If she doesn’t return your second call, you can rightly conclude she’s not into you. ( Do give some time in between, women do have lives too, She should call you once for every 3 times you call.)

3. She looks the other way when you see her and avoids physical contact

Obvious one but some guys are too thirsty to actually catch this.  If she is attracted to you, she will naturally want to be close to you and she WILL make eye contact. If she looks away every now and then she doesn’t want to lead you on and having to turn down your advances later on. Take the sign and move on playa.

4. She mentions other guys she finds attractive

No, she’s not making you jealous Lol-Unless we are dealing with the classic Ex Girlfriend, a situation that belongs in another category.  Most likely though, you are in the ” Friend Zone”  Which means you are just like one of the girlfriends  that she shares thoughts with.

5. She is always vague about plans with you

If she really wants to see you, she’ll make firm plans. If she doesn’t want to see you or doesn’t care either way, you can be sure she’s not into you. If she is vague then she is neutral about being in your company or even worse, she doesn’t want to commit in case something better comes up. Damn

6. She regularly cancels plans

Let me just say it: You are the second choice guy, the ” just in case she doesn’t have anything better to do” guy. It is certainly fair to cancel plans occasionally for a legit reason, but if she bails consistently, ditch her, even as a friend. If she does this, it not only shows that she’s not interested, but she holds little respect for you man. Move on quickly!

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If she shows any of these signs, it doesn’t do good for your cause. If she exhibits two out of three, you can be certain your not it. I know from experience that a crush can be a big blow to ones self esteem. Cut your losses and move on, Repeat this saying until it stays with you, She’s not into you Move one.

Until next time, Take care of yourself and each other

-Trell