The Art of Conversation

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What happened to a genuine conversation? What happened to game being spit instead of jumping straight into intentions? What happened to” Hows your day” instead of “What are you doing?”  So many questions so little time but just know conversation has taken a fall. 

Often times you encounter individuals ( such as myself) who has the knack for conversation. They can talk to any and everybody, even a stranger on the street. They can make a person feel at ease and walk away from the conversation making the person feel like they’ve known them for years. The art of conversation is a skill that all can have and become competent. Conversation is a flow, whether its in a text or face to face. For example, Some hate when people send a straight text of What are you doing especially if it’s the first text. Nothing can be more frustrating besides the no response at all when you know they have their phone-especially if that person has the phone consistently whenever you’re around them. What are you doing says i’m really not interested in conversation, I just want to ask questions, get answers, then the conversation dies down to a mediocre state. Now, lets get to the fun part-At the bar it seems the conversation has died. You meet a girl or guy, the clock is ticking so your game has got to be on point. You eye them, get that 10 sec confirmation then its on…

*Pause* 

This is where conversing has died. More people are intent on closing then actually having the conversation. Now dont get me wrong, you do have some that are “Easy” referring to Courting an individual so the conversation really doesn’t have to take long, just a few lines. Then you have those who are ” Adventurous” also referring to courting an individual,  All about fun and for some into the group thing, so that may take a few more lines than the last. Then you have the girl or guy that if your game, conversation isn’t in tact you dont stand a chance. A friend of mine, known him for years used to ask me what was the requirements for a good conversation and I had to break it down for him like I am for you:  

1. Listen and Respond 

Avoid making it about you, and more about them, getting to know them after all is what its about.

2. Come to an interest

Not all people can find a common interest, but if you do run with it. 

3. Listener 

Simply put, Tailor the conversation to the individual. Don’t talk about ” Sex, Politics or Religion” Know the rules

4. Take your turn

Conversation is a joint project, be patient, dont let a foot-in-mouth occasion happen. You rant about the war but just remembered your best friends brother just came back from Iraq. 

5. Think 

Golden rule, Think before you speak. 

6. Don’t over Share

Speaks for itself, No one wants to know you have a fetish for the tooth fairy. 

 

The most important thing in the Art is being natural. As with most matters of etiquette and being social, once you grab hold of the rules, let it flow. Remember you dont have to be full of charm but when you connect with someone through conversation, nine times out of ten you gained a new friend. One last rule, stay away from the easy individuals-unless it’s your thing.  

 

Until next time 

Take care of yourself and each other

-Trell 

 

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Why she chooses the Ass-Hole and why he chooses the Crazy Chick

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Have you ever been chased in a car at 3am coming from an outing with your friends by a girlfriend? Or have you ever had a boyfriend use you and use you but you still love him? I have been in the first situation and I know many people who have been in smiler situations- and it all goes back to what the Hell we were thinking. Ive learned that most people look for short-term partners, whether its sexual or a companionship which leads to a sexual companionship. At this point when determining the short term relationship you look and prefer someone sexy and attractive that you really dont know how they will turn out to be. Ive talked to a few girls because this is a very touchy topic and I was curious to what some were thinking when “picking” the guy. “He had the looks, confidence, not your average looking guy and he was sexy as F***. I noticed once he got comfortable around me he asked me for favors, and favors and eventually I fell for it every single time” says Amber. Is it the Hormones of some females, is it really that most girls prefer the badass guy over the average joe or is it just the true phrase Nice guys dont stand a chance? Questions within the mind. Most studies point to the hormones, while most people say its low brain cells but either way it’s a hit and a miss. Most females like a thrill and while the badass guy will give you that and be the life of the party, can he settle down and start a family? Be the man of the house, work and provide. It will always be a mystery as to why the ” Wonderful” Woman can be into such a ” Horrible guy”. A Study says a female will allow a relationship to continue with a guy that is emotionally, mentally, or even physically abusive to her if it’s filling a need that one (or many) of her immature traits feed on. Now let me say this before moving on, Women who don’t have their act together, have major emotional or esteem issues, or are immature and/or inexperienced — are the ones most likely unable to differentiate between the traits of an asshole and a good guy. Now, women who are more mature and experienced, with high-self esteem, and feminine confidence, can spot his childish behavior miles away and won’t usually tolerate it. There I said it * Wipes forehead*

 

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In the beginning I mentioned being chased at 3am in a car with no lights on by an ex-girlfriend, true story. A Crazy female can actually be spotted fellas-it’s not that hard, you just have to look past the Vagina. If you hear a woman complain that she can only spot losers and jerks, that all the guys she’s been with have played her, that she hates drama, men are Dicks or any other negative bitter view of relationships and men — stay away — no, run for the Wall in the North. You’re not going to change her opinion by being the “Guy,” trying to show her “how good guys really are” and how “different and will treat her better”. This is no different from the woman trying to save a broken, damaged man as well ( The Asshole).  As guys you see a girl who has been damaged, She’s attractive but she’s been hurt so therefore she’s not trying to give the next guy a chance. You finally break through, She lets you in and then what? Then the  Thin line between love and hate comes out. Every move you make brings about questions, She doesn’t trust you and she thinks you’re just like Gerald. Now dont get me wrong, you aren’t but she doesn’t believe that. Run, again Run. Females love easily and deeply and as a guy they expect us to be just as genuine as they are.

Don’t ever let other’s fears dictate your happiness 

So in closing Why do women continue to date the asshole? 

The answer, I asked a good friend of mine and she said simply ” They Ask”

Some good guys are quiet, laid-back and scared to ask a woman out or even for a her number. The Asshole without any skill is very aggressive, and just goes for it. He makes his presence and intentions known without any hesitations.

Now as for the Crazy Girls 

No answer-Just Run, think with your head not your other head.

Until next time, take care of yourself and each other,

-Trell