The Art of Conversation

Image 

 

What happened to a genuine conversation? What happened to game being spit instead of jumping straight into intentions? What happened to” Hows your day” instead of “What are you doing?”  So many questions so little time but just know conversation has taken a fall. 

Often times you encounter individuals ( such as myself) who has the knack for conversation. They can talk to any and everybody, even a stranger on the street. They can make a person feel at ease and walk away from the conversation making the person feel like they’ve known them for years. The art of conversation is a skill that all can have and become competent. Conversation is a flow, whether its in a text or face to face. For example, Some hate when people send a straight text of What are you doing especially if it’s the first text. Nothing can be more frustrating besides the no response at all when you know they have their phone-especially if that person has the phone consistently whenever you’re around them. What are you doing says i’m really not interested in conversation, I just want to ask questions, get answers, then the conversation dies down to a mediocre state. Now, lets get to the fun part-At the bar it seems the conversation has died. You meet a girl or guy, the clock is ticking so your game has got to be on point. You eye them, get that 10 sec confirmation then its on…

*Pause* 

This is where conversing has died. More people are intent on closing then actually having the conversation. Now dont get me wrong, you do have some that are “Easy” referring to Courting an individual so the conversation really doesn’t have to take long, just a few lines. Then you have those who are ” Adventurous” also referring to courting an individual,  All about fun and for some into the group thing, so that may take a few more lines than the last. Then you have the girl or guy that if your game, conversation isn’t in tact you dont stand a chance. A friend of mine, known him for years used to ask me what was the requirements for a good conversation and I had to break it down for him like I am for you:  

1. Listen and Respond 

Avoid making it about you, and more about them, getting to know them after all is what its about.

2. Come to an interest

Not all people can find a common interest, but if you do run with it. 

3. Listener 

Simply put, Tailor the conversation to the individual. Don’t talk about ” Sex, Politics or Religion” Know the rules

4. Take your turn

Conversation is a joint project, be patient, dont let a foot-in-mouth occasion happen. You rant about the war but just remembered your best friends brother just came back from Iraq. 

5. Think 

Golden rule, Think before you speak. 

6. Don’t over Share

Speaks for itself, No one wants to know you have a fetish for the tooth fairy. 

 

The most important thing in the Art is being natural. As with most matters of etiquette and being social, once you grab hold of the rules, let it flow. Remember you dont have to be full of charm but when you connect with someone through conversation, nine times out of ten you gained a new friend. One last rule, stay away from the easy individuals-unless it’s your thing.  

 

Until next time 

Take care of yourself and each other

-Trell 

 

Lets talk interracial dating…

Image

Besides High Waisted Shorts, there is something else that has taken over our generation and its called interracial dating. It’s not a trend nor a thought, it’s not a process nor a habit. It is a Change. Having been in several interracial relationships myself the difference when you view someone is not their color but shared interests and common perspectives. Our generation by far is very open-minded and tolerant than those of other generations. Growing up our generation grew up with diversity, I kissed my first girl of a different race when I was  7 years old in Daycare. Unlike our parents and church mothers our generation grew up “Multicultural” and that makes for a part of what we are today. “Our generation is more comfortable being with anyone, this is what MLK dreamed” says my boy Daquan Joyner.

A 2010 Pew Research study found that interracial marriages in the US reached a record of 4.8 million and even today that number is still climbing and breaking records. That says today in 2014 interracial dating had to increase by a vast 50% or more.  As a black man I have seen and had many things thrown while dating outside my race and not one time have I thought twice about giving up. I’ve been on both ends, dating my own race and dating outside my race. You will find that some people have their opinion on this, but at the end of the day be with someone that makes you stronger, better, caters to your needs and has a strong will. Embrace one another, embrace change, and embrace differences. In Cancun I met a guy that has been with his wife of a different race for over 20 years. I asked him what keeps you two together to this day, he said communication, ” When you communicate with each other, nothing will come between you because your minds and hearts are open to each other and thats all that matters.”

 

Until next time, take care of yourself and each other,

-Trell